ESPN

Houston, we have a problem! Carolina and Chicago, too. The problem is how to figure out which teams are going to mail it in these last two weeks when they aren't playing for anything. They can't make the playoffs. The teams they are playing are already assured of a playoff bid, so there's no spoiler role to be played. Will the veterans be too busy thinking of the golf course? Will the rookies step it up in hopes of winning favor in the coaching staff's collective eye? Will the coaching staff even be there next season? Will a word like "pride" enter into the equation? Normally we'd rely on the Hecto-tron DA-42 to figure it all out for us. It has been fairly successful, especially when you take the spread out of the mix:

Week 15 (No spread): 10-6, Season-to-date: 150-74
Week 15 (Spread): 7-9, Season-to-date: 113-111

And even with the spread involved, we're still above .500, and that's nothing to sneeze at. But, alas, the Hecto-tron DA-42 has all its servers working on solving the 256-piece Eternity II puzzle and trying to win the $2 million prize that comes with being the first to do so. So, once again, we're on our own. Gulp! Let's see what we can do.

Pittsburgh at St. Louis (+7½)

The Steelers are definitely hungry for a win, as they still have work to do to fend off Cleveland and actually qualify for the playoffs. The Rams might just pack it in early, resting Torry Holt, Marc Bulger and Steven Jackson at the first sign of stress. We'll go with the team that needs it more.

Steelers, 27-13.
Spread pick: Steelers

Dallas at Carolina (+11½)

Matt Moore is playing for his NFL future and DeAngelo Williams is trying to prove he, too, belongs in the league. Technically, they still have a shot at the postseason. But unless Tony Romo is more hurt than he is letting on, effort won't be enough to bridge the enormous talent gap in this one.

Cowboys, 31-7.
Spread pick: Cowboys

Oakland at Jacksonville (-12½)

The Jaguars haven't quite locked up a wild-card spot, so they'll want to make it official. They'll be waiting for JaMarcus Russell to enter the game to welcome him to the league with open arms that then close around his squirming body, and throw him down to the ground hard.

Jaguars, 34-10.
Spread pick: Jaguars

Philadelphia at New Orleans (-3½)

The Saints are still alive, and with the Vikings' win on Monday, the Eagles are not. However, Philadelphia strikes me as one of those teams that comes to bring it, regardless of the playoff status of the game. And the Eagles would love nothing more than to take New Orleans down with them.

Eagles, 30-25.
Spread pick: Eagles

Kansas City at Detroit (-4½)

Yawn! I suppose the Lions might take some pride (that's a wildlife pun there, folks) in reaching 8-8. Even though that's a tad short of Jon Kitna's 10-win guarantee, it's far better than reaching 10 losses. We'll go Detroit's way.

Lions, 17-14.
Spread pick: Chiefs

Cleveland at Cincinnati (+3½)

If this game were in Cleveland, we'd go with the Browns. However, the Bengals can only play the spoiler, and after the embarrassing 51-45 loss earlier in the season, they'll certainly have the motivation.

Bengals, 31-30.
Spread pick: Bengals

Green Bay at Chicago (+7½)

For the second week in a row, we have only two words to explain our pick here. Kyle Orton.

Packers, 27-13.
Spread pick: Packers

New York Giants at Buffalo (+3½)

How the Giants are favored, we have no idea. The Bills are still alive for the AFC playoffs, and if not for the ridiculous snowstorm they endured in Week 15, would be in the driver's seat for that final spot. The Giants are struggling, have no Jeremy Shockey and must rely almost exclusively on the run, which, given the weather report, might be enough.

Giants, 15-14.
Spread pick: Bills

Houston at Indianapolis (-7½)

The Colts will almost certainly unleash Jim Sorgi at some point during this one, but we think that the starters will do enough in whatever limited time they play to build an insurmountable lead.

Colts, 33-13.
Spread pick: Colts

Atlanta at Arizona (-10½)

It appears the only thing worse than a Falcons team under the control of Bobby Petrino is a Falcons team without Bobby Petrino. Kurt Warner should pad his stats in a big way, even if his top two receivers decide it's better to shut themselves down.

Cardinals, 26-10.
Spread pick: Cardinals

Tampa Bay at San Francisco (+7½)

We'd be surprised if the 49ers reach double digits. Forget about winning the game. This is a motivated Bucs team with a coach who won't let it take a week off.

Bucs, 20-8.
Spread pick: Bucs

Baltimore at Seattle (-10½)

This is a playoff team? The Seahawks can't get their running game on track. The passing game is so-so at best. They just lost to the Panthers! But the Ravens have to be completely demoralized after losing their eighth straight game, especially the way they did, and to the Dolphins, no less. We'll take Seattle, but barely.

Seahawks, 20-13.
Spread pick: Ravens

Miami at New England (-21½)

We're picking the Dolphins! Not to win outright, but the omnipresent specter of Don Shula and the "Perfect Season" has to inspire Miami to keep the score within three touchdowns, no?

Patriots, 38-17.
Spread pick: Dolphins

New York Jets at Tennessee (-8½)

The Titans have to win to make the playoffs, and the Jets likely left it all on the field when they failed to take out their No. 1 nemesis, Bill Belichick. With nothing left in the Hess truck's gas tank, this one goes to the home team.

Titans, 27-16.
Spread pick: Titans

Washington at Minnesota (-7½)

For all the marbles, as it were. A loss eliminates the Redskins, and although the Vikings would still stay alive with a loss, it would make their playoff hopes a lot less likely to materialize. We're just not sure that Washington can take the show on the road again and win.

Vikings, 24-10.
Spread pick: Vikings

Denver at San Diego (-9½)

Denver is done, but there's something about a divisional game on national television, on Christmas Eve no less, that makes a team step up. Yeah, the Broncos would probably rather be at home than in San Diego, but as long as they're not home, they might as well try to play the role of Grinch. They'll keep it close, but the Chargers are just better.

Chargers, 23-21.
Spread pick: Broncos

The ESPN Eliminator picks did very well, 5-1 for Week 15, putting us at 58-32 for the season. At 26 games above .500, with just 12 left to select, we're going to shoot for a plus-30 as our end-of-season goal. To that end, our picks for Week 16 are:

Gold Picks:Arizona, Tennessee
Silver Picks:Green Bay, Cincinnati
Bronze Picks: Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh

That's it for this week. Happy holidays to all who are doing their celebrating this week, and good luck everyone!